Adrin’s Pool

I once lived in the dark with a stranger. He was me. Lies covered the handicaps. Liquor and pills dressed me up in courageous clothing. Bulletproof. I was unable to feel pain or anything else for that matter. Who was I? I let so many people down. I once was a little boy. I wanted to be like my father. He was strong and I recall him striding into our house in the afternoon light. His legs were dark and long. He seemed to go up and up. His voice rumbled. He hugged me gruffly and took me fishing. Those cold, wet mornings were the most important things in my life. I didn’t know why until much later.  My dad taught me to laugh… especially at myself.

We would sit as a family and make up funny stories to tell each other.  I once laughed often until I became the sad clown in a cheap mask. I lost sight of who I was. I forgot how to laugh. No beauty. Eventually, I received help. I am sober almost five years. Everyday, I try to find the humor in all things. I simply will not be around negative people or those with massive ego’s. I can’t. I won’t. I turn 49 years old tomorrow and it is strange. I feel like I’m only just starting to live. Thank you to MRZ and Lucia for the images. Skate- Ozzie


23 thoughts on “laughter

  1. Happy birthday ozzie. I turn 49 in December. Everyday I’m so amped to skate and so thankful that all the wasted time of drinking is behind me. When you truly know what skating is really worth you value it more. Every run, every grind, every laugh with a friend is gold in the bank. Cheers with ice cold water after a few hours of skating.

  2. Happy 49th B-Day Ozzie! May you have another 4yrs and beyond of being clean and free to enjoy life in the now! Love the site.


  3. Have a great birthday Ozzie. I always enjoy your website and I hope we get to skate together sometime. Glad you are really living these days. Ride on!

  4. Always learning so much from you, even if its via the world wide web. Been a long time Ozzie. Hope all is going smooth Pool Pal. Have a rad b-day.

  5. Ozzie,
    I too have been there. I found myself in an out of prisons for 10 yrs of my adult life. I am now feeling like i am living. I can relate to what you talk about, I have felt those feelings. I have been sober 7 yrs and only been skating for 4 yrs, but I knew I needed a new hobby when i got out of prison or I would revert to old behaviors. In one month I will be a licensed Drug & Alcohol counselor, and I skate with a lot of the younger skate rats in my area and try to be that positive person in their life, and that is what keeps me sane.
    I wish you a happy birthday, and I thank you for the site you have blessed us with of real talk, and real people. I’m glad to see i can relate on a level of skateboarding with you, and also on a spiritual level of recovery. We can only stay sober by remembering the pain, and knowing the happiness, and you my friend know both!

  6. Moving and touching post Ozzie. Full of honesty and wisdom. Living a life of sobriety is not kids stuff. A very Happy Birthday to you my friend!!!

  7. congrats on your sobriety and happy birthday! Hope it is an awesome one…. aloha, Joanne & Jordyn

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