Swallows – A porn pool problem

‘Aries’- in the shallow end

Jana

Most women love skateboarders. They should. We are the coolest things on the planet. Some women get near a skater and you can almost hear their ovaries rattle. (This is actually meant as a joke).  Many skaters love porn… but more on that in a minute. Last week, I received a phone call from Tony Alva. We hadn’t talked in a few days. We caught up on things and TA told me that he knew of a pool near his house. His friend– Eric — had told him of it. It was permission. It was also a swimmer, but we could drain & skate it. I told him that I would be there the next morning bright & cheerful. About an hour later, I received an email from Nick Gates of Broken Magazine. He said that he had a pool that needed to be drained & wondered if I could help. Of course! He gave me a guys name & number. Eric Staniford. I started putting things together. Unknowingly, we were all trying to get the same pool going. It was rad! I placed calls, made arrangements & a time was set up.

I called Kevin Burke & the next day, we drove to Los Angeles. The house was in a sleepy canyon. A big stone wall surrounded the property. It kept the place away from prying eyes. The air was cold as it was early. Huge trees overshadowed the pool. It looked like a sun-splashed, little blue wonder. The pool sprawled out from the patio- glistening. Eric & Nick were there with their friend- Jessie Hotchkiss.  We grabbed the pump & set everything up. My Yamaha pump is the absolute ruler! It can remove 260 gallons of skateboard-inhibiting water a minute. I  call it  ‘The Straw From God’.  I told the guys this & they smiled but I don’t think they understood. They soon would!

My pump started & I stick tested the pool. It seemed pretty good. The lip curled around and up in the morning sun. The hip was cocked out smoothly to one side. The  box was slightly out of reach. I ran my hand over the smooth skin. As I stick tested it, I noticed it seemed a bit vert-like pretty far down the trannies & this worried me. I also felt the plaster under the water. I was dismayed to see a heavy white film on my hands. Damn! We were going to have to scrub while we drained & probably CLR the pool to remove the paint scum film. If not, the pool was going to be like an ice skating rink. We continued with the draining & cleaning.

Eric & I, left to go to the store & buy coffee & CLR. Enroute, I questioned him about the pool, the porn & how that all came about. ” It all started with a Dominatrix.” He stated wryly.  “One of my best friends in Florida is now known as –Mistress Baunfire. She was  a model for the website-Deviant Nation.  When I moved from Florida in 2008, Deviant Nation was a major competition site with another website-Suicide Girls- showcasing sexy naked tattooed girls. I was a staff photographer.”  I nodded & remarked that naked tattooed girls are generally pretty sexy as far as I was concerned & such a line of work seemed pretty interesting. He smiled & continued. “This introduced me to many models in L.A. Even after the site’s collapse, I was being contacted to shoot for the models as a freelance portfolio- building photographer. The model –Aries– asked that I shoot some portfolio shots at her friends house. This friend was Hustler Porn Star- Jayme Langford. “

Jayme & Jana

Monica

“At her home, we shot some images of her in the dog pen and the full pool. I saw the pool and my first thought was “I have to drain this.” I shot the portfolio photographs at the house. After months of planning, taking photographs for Jayme and asking a lot of questions,  I got the okay from Jayme to drain the pool.”  I smiled. Eric had played ‘the long game’. Sometimes, time takes time. We gathered our supplies at the store & were on the way back to the pool.  Eric told me that he hadn’t been able to get the pool drained. He trolled it around & finally I took the bait. Quickly, we were back at the porn house.

In less than two hours, it was no longer a swimmer. It was now in a state where it could be utilized for a wholly different purpose. After it was empty, I began a thorough inspection. I felt the face wall with my foot, dragging it down toward the drain. I immediately noticed a jolt. The wall bellied out. Not a good sign. I  thought we might be able to carve across it wide & minimize its abruptness.  TA showed up. Some other pals came as well- Pat & Erdy. We sat talking & let the pool dry. We had CLR’d the pool & scrubbed it. The paint film came off milky white.

Being as it was a porn house, jokes started flying.  12 year old adolescent banter quickly filled the air. Someone called the pool, “Milk Bone” which brought quite a few howls of laughter. Kevin Burke sealed the deal when he named the pool, “Swallows”. Perfect.  We let the pool sit & then took a few runs. It was tight & tiny. The kink on the face wall was  very difficult to get over. A few of us grinded it & photographs were taken. I looked around & smiled.  We were at the porn pool.

scrubba dub

Tony Alva- questioning the preparations

Nick Gates- first to grind

Kevin Burke

Jessie Hotchkiss

We had drained it, cleaned it & now we were riding it. It was imperfect, like much of the world.  It sounded like a dream come true for most skaters. Here we were. A sunlit Los Angeles morning. The murky, exotic world of beautiful porn actresses. OG Tony Alva. A permission pool to skate. Good friends… and the pool ended up being less than cooperative. For some, the pool would seem a problem. When I looked around, I quickly saw what I already felt inside. It didn’t matter if the pool was great or not. What mattered is that we did what we did. The look on everyone’s faces & the vibe told the story far better than I ever could. As I looked around, I could see that there was no problem at all. Thank you to Eric Staniford & Nick Gates for setting it up & the porn girlies for letting us in.Thanks to Eric, Nick & Kevin for the images.  Skate- Ozzie

Steve Bailey visited as well.

Brandon Perelson

Parting money shot- Jayme Langford. Thanks!

Draining a swimmer with BTO: 

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