nothing is enough

She walked through Macy’s department store. She carried several bags to her expensive automobile. Trunk. Filled. Walking back inside the cool confines of the Macy’s, she admired her reflection in a passing window. She never tired of her own adoration. Loveliness. Only on the outside. Shop windows. Mannequins looking bent and depressed. Tired clothing and wrapping paper. Tinsel. Lace. Lies. She was still browsing. It wasn’t her money she was spending. He didn’t care. He’d climb on top of her once a week and rut feverishly. Sleep took him quickly after. The new romantic American man. Leaving at the end of the day, she thought that she might need to plan a Spa day. She had far too much stress to deal with… A huge hole festered in her heart. Absence. Feelings. She once felt that gorgeous sickness called “Love”.  Life then called. Reality wasn’t what the poets said it would be…  he cheated and she never felt anything again. Nothing was ever enough.

Scott Ward

He had lost everything. The great divide. A chasm of misery had opened up and devoured. It chewed through his past and then it swallowed all he’d ever be. Alcohol became his panacea. Nights. No dawn. No day. A long blurry run of faces and flesh. It was his turn to be the misery…  devouring. He was teeth and talons. His soul became sick. What he had left to give anyone was soon gone. He now stood in the shallow end of the pool. His old friends welcomed him back. It had been a long time. He smiled and pushed down into the waterfall. He had nothing… and it was enough. Skate- Ozzie


4 thoughts on “nothing is enough

  1. I am that guy. Alcohol took over my life for nearly a decade. I stopped surfing and skating. When I got into the program; I realized the program lacked something. Something was missing. I bought a sufboard, a wetsuit and a skateboard. I began to take back what I had let myself bury beneath layers of misery, anxiety and fear. I still go to meetings every now and then, but there is not much of an open skate culture where I live. I am glad to see posts like this. It makes me feel good to know that even though I am alone where I live, I am not alone in this life.

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